We have a grand-daughter who loves animals and bugs. Except for ants and bees. She is vehemently opposed to both creatures being anywhere in a half-mile vicinity of her person.

She is fascinated with all other forms of animal life. A few months ago she carried around a dead gopher for the better part of the day. Stud Muffin took a video of her showing off its teeth, its ears, its eyes, etc. He wanted me to post it on Facebook and I refused. I didn’t let her touch anything else while she was playing with the gopher (picked up when my back was turned) and I put her in a hot bath immediately after I made her give the gopher to Grampy to dispose of. But still, I wasn’t about to post that video for the public.

Well … never say never.

We had a party Saturday and Stud Muffin wanted to roast a whole pig in his La Caja China. (Pronounced La Ca’ha Chee’na for you non-Spanglish speakers.)

The fun began Friday night when Darling Daughter arrived with her two girls and Grampy took them to see the whole pig being brined in the ice chest.

The ten-year-old: I’m not eating that.

The four-year-old: I’m definitely eating that.

Then the pig was given a name. Patty.

The next day, the four-year-old was fascinated with the whole process. Putting the pig on the rack. Preparing the Caja China. Putting the apple in Patty’s mouth. I took video as she showed me the various parts of the pig’s head. Grampy put the apple in the pig’s mouth (for about the third time) and told her to leave it in there. He turned his back and she had that apple out. I told her Grampy said to leave it in. “But I want to show you the tongue,” she said, as she pulled the tongue out and showed me the piece of ice she’d put in there earlier. “Okay, put the apple back now,” I said.

She replied, “I can’t. Grampy told me not to touch the apple.”

I promise, that’s how that conversation went. I know no one will believe me. That’s why I’m even considering putting it on Facebook.

I can’t believe it myself.