Month: May 2013

The Bandbox Hat

Previously: SarahJane’s niece April is visiting. Jesse called and brought dinner over. After they ate, he told her it was time to tell her everything about why he left town after graduation and what’s going on with SarahJane’s sister Rachael.

Chapter Forty-Nine

Before Jesse could say another word, a soft knock sounded at my door.

“You’re not getting out of this.” I stepped to the door. “Who is it?”

“SarahJane?” The female voice sounded more familiar than my own.

I flung open the door. “Rachael?”

She shimmered under the porch light, blonde hair tumbling around her shoulders.

“Can I come in?”

“Oh, Rachael.” All the pent-up emotions of the last months spilled down my cheeks as I reached for my sister. My only sister. “Rachael.” I repeated her name as she hugged me with a fierceness that left me gasping.

“I’ve missed you so much.” She pulled away and searched my face, her gaze running up and down me. “You’ve changed.”

“So have you.” No wonder I didn’t recognize her at Daddy’s funeral until it was too late. The angles of her cheeks and chin had sharpened to a fine degree and her nose had a bit of a Bob Hope slope. “Did you get a nose job?” I clapped my hand over my mouth.

She burst into laughter. “Ten years and of course that’s the first thing you say to me.”

“Where have you been? What have you been doing? Did you have a nose job? How’s that?” I was mostly joking, but if pressed I would admit to also being frustrated with her. I guess some things never change.

She just smiled. “I missed you so.” She glanced past me, into the living room. “Hey, Jesse.”

He stood. “I should probably go. We can talk later SarahJane.”

“Wait.” My head cocked to the side. “You didn’t tell Rachael to come by? When you said you’d tell me everything and then Rachael knocked, I thought—”

He nodded and stuck his fists into his front pockets. “No. I think it’s better for you two to talk. I’ll call you tomorrow.” He slipped out the door.

I stared after him. “What’s going on?”

“He wanted to give us a moment to catch up. Like I’ve been catching up with Jake.”

“He told me.”

She pulled me to the couch and we sat, facing each other, arms along the back.

“Jesse told me you called Peter when you were in town. So you know he remarried.”

She nodded. “I shouldn’t have been surprised. I reacted badly. Running off again.”

“You think?” I tried to keep the judgment out of my voice but I don’t think I quite succeeded, given the flush that crept across her cheeks.

“I had that coming.”

“Ten years, Rachael. Mom…” My throat grew thick and I couldn’t get out the words of reproach.

Her eyes filled. “I know.”

“Then … why?”

“I was stupid. Immature. I thought she’d be angry and me visiting would be too emotional.”

“So you let your mother die without letting her tell you she loved you.” Frustration surged through me and made the hairs on my arm stand up.

“I know it doesn’t make sense. After I left, I was diagnosed with post-partum psychosis. I knew something was wrong with me and I knew I’d hurt the baby or myself if I stayed.”

I stared at her.

“I didn’t feel like I had a choice, SarahJane. Peter was working all the time. Mom wasn’t feeling well, so I didn’t have the usual support a new mom gets. All I could do all day was stare at this baby. Then I felt the neighbors staring at me, judging me. One of them dropped off a casserole one day and I knew when she got home she’d be calling CPS because of what a mess the apartment was in.”

“Oh, Rachael.” Sympathy welled inside me.

“I truly thought the best thing for to do was to leave. Daddy wouldn’t speak to me. I couldn’t count on anyone.”

I reached for her hand. “I’m so sorry, Rachael.”

“I came to L.A. Ran into Jesse the second week. That was a total God thing.”

“Wait.” I stood and looked at her. “Jesse knew where you were ten years ago? And he didn’t tell me?”

She nodded. “Don’t blame him. I made him promise. Actually, it’s a good thing. He said he wouldn’t tell the family if I would go get help. I might still be on the streets if he hadn’t made that deal with me.”

I sat again. “Jesse got you mental help?”

“He did. Then when we moved in together—”

“You what?” I shrieked a little at that.

“Auntie SJ?” April’s plaintive voice sounded from the next room.

“I’m okay, sweetie,” I called to her.

A shuffling noise preceded her entry into the living room. “Who are you?” She rubbed her eyes and stared at Rachael.

The Bandbox Hat

Previously: SarahJane was given the heave-ho from the Date My Son! reality dating show. She spent a couple of days depressed. Her niece April called and asked to come visit SarahJane in Glendale. SarahJane met her brother in Grapevine to pick up April. The also ran into Jesse who was heading back to Pasadena after a Rosedale visit. He asked if he could call SarahJane. She agreed.

Chapter Forty-Eight

 

My apartment door had just clicked shut behind me and April when my phone rang.

“Where’s the bathroom, Auntie SJ?” April hopped from foot to foot looking from one end of the apartment to the other.

“Through that hall.” I pointed her in the right direction and snagged the phone from my purse. “Hello.”

“I couldn’t wait.”

“Jesse?”

“I really want to talk to you, SarahJane. Can I come over?”

The chipped corner of my laminate kitchen corner became ultra-interesting. I had to stick my hand in my pocket to keep from chipping at it. “I don’t know, Jesse. I just got home. April’s here.”

“I’m not even home yet. I can swing by for a minute.”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll bring dinner. Tacos?”

“No fair, you know I can’t say no to Mexican.”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

I disconnected and tossed the phone onto the faded chintz sofa. “That man…”

“What man?” April popped out of the bathroom.

“Jesse’s bringing dinner.” I pulled plates and glasses from the cupboard and pointed at the flatware drawer. “Can you get some knives and forks?”

April and I set the table. She chattered the whole time about how much fun we were going to have and could I fix kuchen for her in the morning. I agreed to that and I’m pretty sure I also said okay to a trip to Disneyland before I tuned into her words.

“Mom said that my being here is going to cramp your style, Auntie SJ. What’s your style? How can I cramp it?” Her brow furrowed and she bit her lower lip.

I tossed a stack of napkins on the table and sank onto the nearest chair. Anna had to get in her digs at me, I got that, but to use her daughter to deliver her spiteful messages just curdled my soul. “Oh, sweetie, trust me, I don’t have a style and even if I did, you wouldn’t cramp it. I love having you visit. You give me style.”

A tremulous smile inched across her lips. “Really? ‘cause it sounded like a bad thing.”

“I promise you, you’re the best roommate I could ever want.”

A knock at the door broke up the conversation and April scampered over to let Jesse in. “What’d you bring us?” she asked.

“Ernesto’s tacos and burritos. The best in town.” He set three Styrofoam boxes on the table. “Who’s hungry?”

“I am!” April slid into a chair and wiggled.

“Me, too.” I flashed Jesse a smile of welcome.

We passed around the food and I asked Jesse to say the blessing. We ate and chatted, with Jesse making me laugh and April studied us like we were her latest science project.

After dinner I passed out ice-cream sandwiches. I’d licked the last bit of chocolate goo from my fingers when April yawned.

“Bed time, missy.” I gathered up the paper wrappers and tossed them into the trash. “Go brush your teeth and get into my bed. I’ll come tuck you in.”

April nodded and left the table.

Jesse turned to me. “This is nice.”

I had to agree. “I missed you.” The words popped out before I could second-guess them or myself. It was true. He used to be my best friend. I missed his crazy jokes and how he sighed before putting on his seatbelt. I missed the dimple in his chin.

He reached for my hand. “So … I need to explain some things. Why I left.”

“Rachael.” I spoke the name that had hovered between us all night.

He nodded. “It’s time to tell you everything.”